Second Best
by mxptr
Summary: The Cullen's didn't come back after Alice visited. It's been four years. Bella married Jacob. Something strange is happening now, and it's comprimsing relationships all over the place. Better than it sounds. i suck at summaries. R&R Please..
1. Chapter 1

**Fiction Title****: **Second Best

**Chapter Title:** The Shock of the Century

**Author**: Krissy

_**"Isabella Swan..." **__Jacob sank down onto one knee, making my heart race. I immediately knew what he was doing and I was already choking up. _Well done Bella_, I congratulated myself._

_"__**Isabella Swan, you are my life. I've loved you since the first time I met you, and I don't know what I would do without you. You're my best friend, the one I want to be with forever. Will you marry me?" **__He looked up at me, holding my hand in his. _

_I opened my mouth to answer, and nothing came out. I couldn't make myself respond. Instead, I nodded once, hoping he saw. _

_He did, because the next thing I knew, he swept me up in his arms, and was hugging me tight. _

_"__**Jake, need to breathe," **__I coughed, laughing._

_**"Sorry Bells,"**__ He commented, letting me down. _

_I looked deep into his eyes and saw the happiness. I leaned up and kissed him softly, shyly. _

Then I woke up. It was very cold in our bedroom. It always was. I snuggled closed to his side and sighed happily.

Jacob stirred and wrapped his arms tight around me, kissing the top of my head. "Good morning," he said quietly. "How'd you sleep?"

I smiled to myself. "I slept very well, you?" I asked, forcing myself out of bed and going across the room to shut the window. We left it open every night so that I wouldn't die of heat while we were sleeping.

"Me as well," Jacob smiled, getting up and following me into the kitchen like a puppy. He went into the fridge and grabbed the carton of eggs. "You want some help before I go check in with the guys?" he asked me, wrapping his arms around me from behind.

"Nope, it's all good," I said happily, turning my head and kissing his cheek then spinning out of his embrace to grab that bread.

Jake smiled and headed out the front door, ditching clothes as he did so. As soon as I was alone, the pain came back. I thought I had been rid of it, at least a little bit when I started hanging out with Jake. But as soon as he proposed, it started again. Every time I was alone, the pain was every bit as bad as it was the day he left me.

Jake and I had been married for about a year now. It's been about four since _he_ left me. I haven't seen any of the Cullen's since Alice came to visit me, all those years ago when she thought I had committed suicide. Last I heard, _he_ had heard about that. Tried to kill himself, but joined the Volturi instead. Okay, so I was talking to Alice once or twice, but not since Jacob proposed. I couldn't handle that.

The hole in the middle of my chest burned, to intense to ignore. So I sat in a kitchen chair, thinking about Jacob, trying to drive _him_ from my mind. After maybe ten minutes, I was able to function again, so I continued on with breakfast, placing it on the table just as Jake came sprinting in the door.

We enjoyed our nice quiet breakfast; Jake didn't seem to want to talk. But that was okay, because I didn't really either. I didn't know what I would say if we were talking. It wasn't unusual for Jake and me to have awkward conversations after he had left. I think he knew what happened to me whenever he left me alone for a little while, and he tried to avoid doing so. It caused more than a few fights about my independence. But still I was happy. Not as happy as I would have been with _him_, but happy enough. I love Jake almost more than anything.

While I was cleaning up, Jake looked tense and fidgety at the table. I didn't understand why, so as soon as the dishes were done, I sat on his lap, giggling when he jumped. "Sorry love; didn't mean to startle you," I whispered, kissing his cheek.

"Don't worry about it," Jacob whispered, his arms automatically snaking around my waist.

I waited for him to say something else, but he remained silent, his eyes empty and distracted. I didn't understand, but my first guess what that he was probably tired of my continuous pining over a vampire that I had lost four years ago. I wouldn't blame him, because honestly, I was tired of it too.

"Are you alright Jake?" I asked, twisting in his lap and placing my hand on the side of his face.

Jake nodded carefully, not looking from the spot on the floor he was staring at, his lips pressed in a tight line. He didn't make any verbal response, nor did he look at me.

I pecked him on the cheek quickly, and decided that he probably needed some alone time. "I have errands to run okay? I'll be back in a few hours, I have my phone," I said, then kissed his lips once, getting up and going into our bedroom to get dressed.

I wandered around the supermarket, a metal wired basket hung over one arm, my list in my other hand. I was almost done shopping, but I still had a few other places to stop on my way home. I had my mp3 playing softly, using only one earphone, in case somebody tried to talk to me, but I wasn't really paying attention.

Until I heard a voice that made me freeze in my tracks. I stopped so suddenly that the person pushing a cart behind me bumped into me, knocking me over. I fell flat on my stomach, on top of my basket.

I scrambled to my feet, red in the face, my ribs throbbing. I looked at the person behind me, nodding acceptance as he mumbled apology. Awhile ago, Mike would have gone nuts over knocking me down, insistent on helping me out, and then probably asking me out. But since Jacob and I started dating, I think he got the picture that I don't like him. He had barely acknowledged my existence since Jacob and I got married.

I didn't have time to care about that right now; I busied myself in searching for the owner of that voice. That velvety voice that made my heart go wild. I wasn't even positive that I'd heard it, it could have been one of my messed up hallucinations that I had occasionally.

When I didn't see any of the six people I had been looking for, I felt oddly discouraged. I had gotten excited for a few minutes. I wanted to see them; any of them at all would have sufficed. Even Rosalie would have been better than the disappointment I was experiencing now.

Shaking my head I continued on to the check out counter, deciding the rest of my errands could wait until tomorrow. All I wanted right now was to go home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Fiction Title**: Second Best

**Chapter Title**: Unexplained Anger

**Author**: Krissy

When I arrived home, Jake wasn't there. I was alone again; just the way I wanted it. I put the groceries away, humming along with my favorite song as I did so. I stuffed the bags into the closet and went into the office, turning on the computer Charlie and Billy got us as a wedding present. They went splits on it like an old married couple, a fact that Jake and I still made fun of every chance we got.

I checked my e-mail and saw there was a couple from my mom. I hadn't checked my e-mail in about a week, there had been too much else occupying my time. By now she was surely getting anxious. Even though I'm twenty-two years old now, live on my own, and have a werewolf as a guardian. Not that she knows anything about that last part.

After I replied to my mom, basically telling her to chill and then updating her with much detail on exactly why I hadn't been replying to her e-mails right away, I got off the computer and went into our bedroom, kicking off my shoes and laying down. I felt exhausted and I didn't know why. I hadn't done anything physically demanding, except you know, fall down at the market. Either way, I must have really been tired because the next thing I knew, Jake's hot lips were pressed against my forehead.

I gasped and my eyes shot open. I tossed my arms around his neck and hugged him tight, sitting up carefully. "Hey, where were you?" I asked, realizing that I had been worried sick about him.

"Sam wanted me to take a shift, I figured you wouldn't mind since you were gone, sorry babe," he laughed at me, hugging me back.

"Leave a note next time. What if I come back before you do? I'll be all worried again," I grinned, and got off the bed, wandering over to the window, looking out over the beach.

"Will do ma'am," Jake laughed again, coming up behind me and following my gaze to the driftwood, our special place. _He_ and I had the meadow, and Jake and I had that spot on the beach. It was where he proposed, where I first tricked the Quileute legends out of him, and where I confirmed that he was a werewolf.

"Want to go for a walk?" I asked, not looking away from the gorgeous view. It was just about sunset, so everything was starting to get an orange tint to it.

Jake nodded. "Let's go," he said softly, taking my small hand in his large ones, leading me out of the house and to the beach.

We walked in comfortable silence; neither of us feeling compelled to talk. When we reached our spot, I sat on the trunk, and he sat next to me in the sand. I looked up at our house, and admired it. That is until the picture of the most gorgeous house I'd ever seen in my entire life popped into my head. This is when I again realized that I had settled for the second best. I wanted to live in the Cullen's beautiful house more than anything. To share that gorgeous room with _him_; to fall asleep in _his_ stone cold arms every night.

I shook my head quickly, wanting those thoughts out of my head. I had been slipping up a lot lately. I let myself think about him to much. I glanced at Jacob and realized he had the same empty look on his face as in the kitchen this morning.

"Are you okay Jake?" I asked gently, reaching down and placing my hand on his shoulder, concern ringing in my voice.

Jake nodded once, and then turned to look at me. "I'm going to be running a lot of shifts for the next little while, Sam's worried," he said, giving me a small smile, trying to make it seem like nothing.

"Worried about what?" I asked him, briefly remembering the voice I had heard in the market, my heart ringing with hope again.

Jake winced. "When he and Jared were out last night they caught the scent of bloodsuckers. They said it seemed kind of familiar, but they couldn't place it. That's why they sent me out this morning, to see if I recognized it," he explained, glancing up at me.

My imagination was getting carried away already. I was having visions of being back with Alice, Emmett mocking me when I fell down again. The only one I wouldn't let myself see was about _him_.

"Did you recognize it?" I asked, and I don't know, I guess my excitement must have been more obvious on my face than I thought it was.

Jake's expression hardened, and his eyes went blank again. "No, I didn't."

I looked at him with confusion in my eyes, moving down onto the sand next to him. "Jake? What's wrong?" I asked, running my fingers through his hair. Untangling a few snarls as I went. He didn't seem to notice.

"Nothing Bells. Nothing at all," he mumbled, staring at the setting sun. "Is there something that you'd like to tell me?" he mumbled, suddenly turning his gaze on me.

There was no love in his eyes, no sign of my Jake at all. Just the Jake from four years ago, right after he first found out he was a werewolf. Sam's Jake; I still felt hostility towards Sam for taking Jake away from me so long ago.

As I started thinking about Sam, Emily, Jared, Embry, and the rest of the pack; whom I thought of as my family, my mind drifted back towards the Cullen's again. The pack was my second choice family. I loved being a 'wolf girl' but I'd rather be a vampire girl any day.

I realized Jake was still waiting for an answer from me, and I ended my train of thought immediately. "No… nothing at all, I'm just worried about you," I mumbled, curling up to his side.

I felt him relax some, and he wrapped his arms around me, looking at the sunset again. It was almost dark by this point. "I love you Bells, don't go back to him," he whispered, so softly that I wasn't even sure that I had heard him.

I was too scared to ask him what he meant by that, so I just stayed put, closing my eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Fiction Title:** Second Best

**Chapter Title:** Confrontation

**Author:** Krissy

The next few days were strange. Jake was out running shifts when I woke up in the morning, and he left to run some more right after supper. I wasn't positive he was sleeping at all, unless he came back to sleep while I was sleeping. In addition to him being gone so much, we were barely talking. I had the impression that he was angry with me, but about what I wasn't sure. I made it my mission to confront him at dinner that night. He never missed dinner at Emily's, which is where I had been spending my daytimes too. Hanging out with some wolves and my best friend, you know?

I had no idea what I was going to say to him, or even if I would be able to get him to talk to be alone before he went back out, but I had to try. I was tired of the avoidance treatment he was giving me. It made no sense to me and I wanted answers. To top it all off, I was having flashbacks of the last time Jake was avoiding me.

So here I was, everybody was sitting somewhere in Emily and Sam's living room and kitchen eating hot dogs. It really was the easiest thing to make when everybody was planning on being there for supper. Everybody was pretty talkative, but they were watching what they were saying, I could tell by the way they kept eyeing Sam.

I was sitting in Jake's lap; it was the only available seat unless I wanted to eat alone. I thought maybe he'd talk to me if I was literally in his lap, but he wasn't. He'd nod if I asked a question, but he only spoke to everybody else.

I helped Emily clean up once everybody was done, and slowly the wolves started departing the house. They were going home, or to run more patrol, or something to that effect.

I turned to Jake as soon as Sam and Emily left the room, we actually were alone now, I appreciated it, but I could tell he was looking for ways out.

"Jake, we need to talk," I said, walking over to him and taking his hands in mine.

He nodded. "About what?" he asked, in a formal voice. The voice did not belong to him; it was most definitely Sam's voice. That meant he was upset, and he was trying to control his temper.

"Why have you been avoiding me? Are you upset with me? Did I do something wrong?" I asked, my three biggest concerns coming out in one breath unintentionally. It was too late to take back questions two and three, so I just looked at him, waiting for him to answer.

He looked around the room, basically anywhere but directly at me, and sighed. "Bells, have you noticed anything about yourself lately? You don't offer much to conversations, and you're starting to resemble the scared little girl that showed up on my doorstep four years ago. Who was heartbroken over losing her precious blood-sucker,"

I winced.

"See? I can't mention him anymore. Exactly like it used to be Isabella; I don't understand why," He looked at me, and I stared straight into his eyes, seeing a scared little boy.

"Are you upset with me because I've been thinking about," I gulped "him, again Jake?" I asked softly. I stared at my feet, feeling horrible.

"I'm not upset with you," Jake said in the same quiet voice I was using. "I just don't understand why you're acting this way. You were better, and now you aren't. I can't handle seeing you like that anymore. I can't leave you alone without coming back to you looking all depressed. Since I have to leave you alone sometimes, I figured I just wouldn't come back." Jake looked around sheepishly, like he was hiding something. I immediately became suspicious.

"That's why you're avoiding me? So you don't have to see me depressed Jake?" I prompted, knowing he wouldn't lie to me if I called him out on it. He gets too guilty.

Jake sighed. "Well, that and I have to make sure those damn bloodsuckers get nowhere near you. They've settled back down. I don't know why they came back; it's only been four years. Usually they wait 90 or so," Jake sighed again, and his eyes grew tired.

I gaped at him. "They're back?" I asked, snapping my mouth shut. "The Cullen's are back and you haven't told me?! Why would you do something like that?" I asked, staring at him in total shock. "At the very least you should have told me so I could see Alice!" I said, and I couldn't help it; I was so angry I started to cry.

Jake looked at me. "Bells, I was talking to him. He- you don't know why he came back… I can't let you near him. He's too good at playing with you!" Jake said with the coldness back in his voice. He was mini-Sam again.

"I don't care Jake! I'm going to see them!" I snapped and I got up, storming to my truck. I started it up, ignoring Sam and Emily. I sped towards Forks as fast as I could, going down the familiar road to the Cullen's house.

My subconscious knew how much I would have just hurt Jake; it also knew that there'd be a giant wolf hovering on his side of the line waiting for me to come back. But I didn't care, the only thing going through my mind was 'Have to see them, they're back, I need to see them. I need to see them right now.' Over and over again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it's taken me so long to post _  
I haven't had the energy or anything to post. Been sick and busy enjoying the mini vacation xD  
**

**Fiction Title**: Second Best

**Chapter Title**: The Whole Story

**Author**: Krissy

I pulled up in front of the familiar house, and noticed that there were lights on inside. The big glass wall was even open, and I could see them moving around inside. Before I could even get to the door, Alice crashed into me and was holding me tight. She must have hit me on purpose, I couldn't think of some other reason why she would have done something like that.

Almost as suddenly as she hugged me she jumped back, her nose wrinkled in distaste. "Ew, Bella! You stink!" she gasped, getting over-dramatic and plugging her nose.

I couldn't help but laugh. I was shaking violently both because I was worried Jake wouldn't forgive me, and because I was scared to see _him_ again, but standing out here with Alice, I almost didn't care.

"Some greeting," I muttered, walking past her. "Did you tell them I was coming?" I asked, looking at my pixie-like sister as she easily caught up with me.

Alice laughed. "Did I have to tell them? Bella we heard your truck all the way at the end of the road," she reminded me.

As soon as I was in the door, Esme had her arms around me. "Bella, we've missed you dear," she said, hugging me tight.

I grinned. "I missed you too," I said happily, hugging her back.

I looked around and there was nobody else down here. When Alice said 'we' I expected more than just the two of them. "Where's everybody else?" I asked, looking at Alice and Esme.

Esme smiled at me and placed her hand on my shoulder. "They're all hunting for a few days. They should be back by Wednesday at the latest," she smiled and took one hand while Alice took the other.

The three of us walked up the stairs together, both Esme and Alice silent, a fact that shocked me, but I also appreciated. What day was it today? Was it Saturday? I think so anyways. I tried to figure out how long it was until Wednesday. Five days until Wednesday. I didn't know how I would be able to bear waiting that long to see everybody else. I missed them so much it was ridiculous.

"You can stay here with us until they come back Bella," Alice said happily, pulling me into her room. "It'll be so much fun, just like when I was visiting before!"

Esme didn't say anything, just sat on the edge of the bed, watching Alice and I.

I winced. "I really can't Alice, I wish I could, but I kind of yelled at Jacob before I left. I just know he's all freaked out and waiting right by the boundary line. If I'm gone much longer, he'll come to get me, and he's probably not in his right mind, so he'd probably come and attack, thinking the worst," I mumbled, wanting more than anything to stay here with my mother and sister.

Esme nodded. "We understand dear," she said, recognizing the remorse on my face. "Perhaps he'll let you visit more before the others come back," she assured me, reaching out to pat my hair.

I looked at her in confusion. "Why before they come back? I'm sure he'll let me come afterwards too Esme," I said, not liking the sad look in both Esme's and Alice's eyes.

Alice shook her head. "No, he won't," she said, very seriously.

"How can you be so sure?" I asked, sounding a little surly. "You can't see what Jacob will do," I reminded her.

Alice nodded with an expression I didn't recognize on her face. "No, I can't. But when he was up here,"

"Jacob was up here?!" I jumped in, not caring that I had interrupted her. "When was he here?" I demanded, my hands balling into fists.

Esme nodded. "Yeah, a couple days ago, he came up to investigate the scent, perfectly understandable. However he had a run in with Edward. They got,"

"Edward?" I said, before I could think, evidently interrupting again.

"Yes, Edward. They got into a pretty big argument. I was sure it would turn into a fight if it weren't for Emmett and Carlisle," Esme continued, pretending I hadn't interrupted.

I pressed my first and second fingers into my temples, trying to avoid the headache I could feel coming on. "I thought Edward joined the Volturi? Isn't that how he got out away with trying to reveal what he was in the middle of Volterra?"

I could see that Alice was shocked that I remembered all the details she told me the last time we were talking.

"Well yes, he joined, but he didn't stay. He was miserable, and because Carlisle and Aro are good friends, they let him go, as long as he swore never to show his face inside their city again," Alice explained. "He's the reason we came back here," she added on.

"What were Jake and Edward arguing about?" I asked, even though I was almost positive I already knew.

"Edward came back to beg forgiveness, and ask if you would take him back," Esme explained. "When he read Jacob's mind and found out that you guys were married, well… he got a little bit upset," she said quietly. I could hear remorse in her voice for the pain her youngest son was obviously going through.

I had a lump in my throat as I listened to their explanation, both for the fact that Edward wanted me back, and because I had hurt Jacob a lot more than I thought I would have by running back here. I also understood his comment on the beach earlier this week too. He knew if I found out they were back, I'd go running to Edward.

"I… still… I'm sure Jacob will let me come up to visit… he knows how much you guys mean to me," I said, tears springing to my eyes, threatening to spill over.

"Actually Bella, Edward swore he would get you back no matter what it took. He pointed out the fact that if he wanted you back, you'd more than likely go running into his arms. Jake didn't like that," Alice commented. "Jacob swore that Edward wouldn't get near you if he died trying," she continued.

I sighed. "That boy is so egotistical!" I shouted, my tears spilling over in my anger. I wiped them away roughly, standing up.

"They both are," Alice said cheerfully.

I nodded simply, and looked at the clock. "I… I should get back now, before Jacob does anything rash," I commented, hugging Esme first, not wanting to let go, and then hugging Alice for just as long. "I'll try and get back up here before they come back," I promised, and took off out the door to my truck.

**Hey Guys! Chapter Four is up!! From now on I'm going to try and put up a chapter every 2****nd**** day, if not every day, I have up to chapter 7 written right now, and I've been writing at the least 2 chapters a day. *shrug* Only 3 people have reviewed so far, but I love the three of you insanely *huggles you all and gives you all cookies* **

**Thanks for the reviews guys, you are zee beast!**

**Krissy**


	5. Chapter 5

**Just cuz I love y'all so much, I'm posting chapter five now (:  
**

**Fiction Title**: Second Best

**Chapter Title**: You Are My Life …But?

**Author**: Krissy

As I drove home, I thought about what I had learned in the last forty-five minutes. It was a lot to take in at one time, and I was getting a horrible migraine from it. Jacob and Edward had almost fought, Edward wanted me back. That was the big thing right there; Edward wanted me back after four years. I was married, and he still wanted me back. When he left, didn't he swear it would be like he hadn't existed? He said he hoped I got married, and now that I was married, he wanted to break it up.

On the one hand, this is what I had been waiting for since right after he left. He would come back and tell me he still loved me, we would get married, and then I'd be one of them. He'd change me into a vampire; I'd live forever as Isabella Marie Cullen. That was exactly what I wanted, back then anyways.

On the other hand, I had Jacob. My personal sunshine; he'd picked up the pieces when Edward left me. Put me back together, even though I was nothing. He had only left me once, and he came back almost right away, letting me in on a secret as big as Edwards. Then, he'd asked me to marry him, and I'd said yes. Jacob had never hurt me, and had _always _been there for me.

What if I had to choose between them? What did I mean what if? Of course I had to choose which one of them I wanted more; I couldn't have both of them. It was so unfair! I was kind of settling into life with Jake. Sure, I had bad days, but I was so much better now.

Just a few days ago I had been thinking about how I settled for second best. How what I really wanted was to be a Cullen. But now that there was a possibility of that happening, I wasn't so sure that I wanted it anymore. What kind of horrible person am I? I only want what I can't have.

I pulled into the driveway much sooner than I expected. I was almost scared to go inside, in case Jake was in there. I didn't want to hear whatever angry rant he had ready for me. So I sat in the truck for fifteen minutes, just to be safe. Normally, Jake would have come out to see if I was okay, but he didn't this time. The light was on in the living room, so I knew he was home. I started to get anxious wondering if _he_ was okay. I tried to stay out longer, but I couldn't I got up and ran towards the house, only falling down once.

When I got inside, Jake was sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. It was some news show, and I knew he wasn't actually watching it. He didn't even look up when I sat next to him, just took a deep breath and shifted his gaze slightly left of the TV.

"Jake?" I asked; resting my hand on his leg, feather light.

He still didn't movie, just sighed through his nose. "Why were you in the car so long?" he asked in a calm voice. "Your bloodsucker out there with you?" he snapped, suddenly turning to look at me. "Why did you even bother to come back?"

I winced, his words hurt a lot. "He wasn't even there when I got there. Everybody but Alice and Esme were out hunting. They'll be gone until Wednesday," I commented, scooting away from him. "And I came back because I love you," I said, letting some of my anger flow through my voice.

"Not as much as you love him Bella," Jacob mumbled, staring at his lap. "Do you remember what you were like when you came down here the first time Bella? Do you know how horrible you looked?" he sounded like his was going to cry, the thought of this scaring me. I snapped my head up to look at him.

"I know… you saved me, and I'm forever grateful to you for that Jake…" I whispered, wanting more than anything to make him feel better. I hated it when he was in pain; his pain had always been my pain.

"But," Jake prompted me, looking up at me. His eyes were bloodshot and I could see moisture gathering, scaring me even more. I'd never once seen Jake cry about anything at all.

"What do you mean but?" I asked him, reaching out for his large hand.

He pulled his hand away from mine quickly. "I mean there's a but coming. You're grateful to me, but…" he looked at me like I was stupid for not understanding.

I nodded. "There was no but coming Jake. I'll always be grateful to you for saving me, I love you. However, I love the Cullen's too. You can't keep me away from them, they're like my second family," I said softly.

"They left you Bella! They left you to be miserable," Jake said, his voice rising. He stood up and started walking towards the bedroom. "Go back to them, I don't care, but don't expect me to be around to pick up all the pieces when they leave you again," the door slammed and I broke down.

It took me almost three hours to calm down, but as soon as I did, I went into the bedroom. Jake was asleep on the bed, sprawled across the hole thing diagonally. He was snoring lightly, and he looked absolutely peaceful. I hated to disturb him, but I couldn't let him think that anything he said was true.

I crawled on the bed and kissed his cheek softly. His eyes squeezed shut and he made a weird mumbling noise and rolled over.

"Jake, wake up," I whispered, kissing just below his ear.

He opened his eyes and looked at me seriously. "What Bells?" he asked, sounding exhausted. He had heavy bags under his eyes and I immediately felt horrible for waking him up. So I just lay down next to him, curling close to him. "I'd never leave you," I whispered, closing my eyes as his arms wrapped around me. "Go back to sleep."

He didn't even respond before I heard him start to snore again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Fiction Title**: Second Best

**Chapter Title**: Explanations

**Author** Krissy

I woke up a lot during the night. It was raining hard and making it really hard to sleep. For me at least; it didn't seem to be bothering Jake at all. Though like I said, I don't think he's slept at all in the last couple days. When it was finally light out, I was exhausted. I didn't want to get out of bed, because it was cold outside the blankets and I was the perfect temperature right here under the blankets with Jake.

Suddenly he stirred, looking down at me confusedly. "Didn't we argue last night?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I nodded, curling closer to him. "Yes, we did," I agreed, but making no motion that I wanted to get up, or that I was angry.

"Then why are we still in the same bed?" he asked, confusion in his voice, but I could see the humor on his face. He was fighting to keep a straight face, I could tell.

"Because I came in, stated the obvious, and then fell asleep with you," I said with a grin, groaning as he rolled off the bed and tossed my favorite sweater on top of me.

"I see," he teased, waiting for me to pull that on before he threw a pair of socks at me. "Hurry up, let's go make breakfast," he smirked.

I slipped my hand in his and wandered into the kitchen lazily letting Jake pull me the entire way. He must have been starving.

"I'll make bacon and toast, you make eggs?" he bargained with me, smiling at me brightly.

I nodded and went to the fridge to grab the carton of eggs. We often had bacon and eggs for breakfast every morning, because it's his favorite, and the easiest thing to make. Besides cereal, but Jake doesn't like to have it in the house, he says it's too unhealthy.

"So… you'll never leave me?" Jake said casually, not taking his eyes off the bacon he was peeling apart.

I nodded. "Never, I wouldn't be able to stand not having you with me all the time, I love you too much," I added, pouring the eggs into the pan.

"Not as much as you loved him I bet," Jake mumbled, so quietly that I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear.

I decided that since I heard it, I would say something about it. "I love you both exactly the same," I said quietly. "I don't love either of you more or less than the other," I reassured him.

Jake scowled, my answer not pleasing him. "So how am I supposed to be positive you won't leave me then? If you love us both the same…" he trailed off.

"He had his chance Jacob. He left me; told me that he didn't love me anymore. He can't come back four years later and expect me to want him back," I told Jake, matter-of-factly.

"But you do want him back," Jake whispered. "Bells, you talk in your sleep."

I nodded. "I know that already," I said simply.

"You know that you want him back, or you know that you talk in your sleep?" Jake asked, spinning to look at me, genuine fear in his eyes.

"Both," I said, unable to make eye contact with him. "But I also know that he left me, and you're right, he'll leave me again someday, especially when I have no intentions of ever becoming a vampire," I said. It was a lie, but Jake didn't need to know that. I didn't want him to be any more upset. "Because I know he'll leave me, I don't want to go back to him. I want you, and only you," I said, turning back to the eggs, starting to feel angry again. I didn't know what was with my emotions lately; they couldn't seem to decide how they wanted to feel.

Jake sighed heavily, staying quiet for almost five minutes. The next thing I knew, his strong arms were wrapped around my waist from behind, his chin resting on top of my head. "Bells, don't be angry okay? I'm just scared… I can't lose you after having you for all these years," he explained, once again. "You said it yourself, he left you, I didn't, I never will."

I nodded, holding back tears, unsure why they were even coming. "I know," I said softly, waiting for the right time to ask if it was okay that I went up to the Cullen's to visit every once and awhile.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jake teased me playfully, reaching around me and flipping the eggs.

I had to laugh quietly with him, taking the spatula from him. "Go tend to your bacon," I teased back, reaching for the bread, to make toast.

We continued on with breakfast in silence, both of us deep in thought. I tried to make it seem like I was thinking about what we were going to do with our day, I didn't want him to know I was thinking about Edward again.

When we finally sat down to eat, Jake looked at me carefully. "Really Bella, what are you thinking about? You're driving me insane," he said, laughing, though it was as light now, he sounded kind of tense actually.

"It's not a far drive," I teased him, taking a bite of my bacon, trying to avoid his question.

"Haha Bella, tell me what you're thinking about," Jake said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

I sighed. "I was trying to think of a good time to ask you if I could go up and visit Alice and Esme today. I've missed them so much… I really want to see them," I kept my eyes carefully on my plate, not wanting to see the look on Jake's face.

There was silence for about thirty seconds, before Jake cleared his throat and reached over to touch my hand, which shocked me, making my head snap up. I expected to see anger in his dark eyes, but instead I saw love. "Sure Bells, anything you want sweetheart," he said in a genuinely sweet voice.

I smiled back at him, his answer having caught me off guard. I opened my mouth to say something, but couldn't think of the right words, so snapped it shut again, repeating the process several times before I finally settled on something. "Thanks Jake," I said softly, a light blush colouring my cheeks.

He nodded and finished off his breakfast, getting up and washing his plate, putting them away. "I've got to go run patrol for awhile, okay Bells? I'll see you tonight," he promised, dropping a quick kiss on the top of my head before the door swung shut.

When Jacob was gone, it was absolutely silent in the house, giving me time to think. I took my time on my breakfast then, washing my dishes, putting them away, etc. Not wanting to rush over to the Cullen's so early in the morning; I started cleaning up around the house, taking my time in that too. By the time I was ready to go, it was almost four o'clock. I was a little shocked that Jake hadn't come home yet, but it wasn't unusual for him to hang around at Emily's for the day with his brothers.

As I was driving up to the Cullen's house, I realized that it was probably just about time to replace my truck. The engine had gotten even louder, which I hadn't actually thought was possible, and it broke down frequently. Jake loved it though; he was often outside working on it, if not because it had broken down again, because he was bored, and needed something to do. To him, I think he considered it the ultimate challenge or something.

The thought of replacing my truck made sadness pang in my truck. It was _my_ truck, I'd had it since the day I moved to Forks, and lots of memorable things had happened in it, near it, etc. Even so, it was just a truck. An object and said object was going to wind up putting me in some serious trouble some day. I needed a new car, so I set it upon myself to try and figure out why I was so attached to this truck.

I could only come to one conclusion as I made my way along the narrow dirt road towards the Cullen's house. It was the one and only tie I had left to my first love, the love of my life-

I froze in my thoughts, seeing a silver Volvo in the driveway.

_Edward._

**So sorry guys... I write my fic on the computer in my bedroom which doesn't have internet, and I use my USB drive to transport the chapters out here to post them, and I misplaced it for the last couple days. Name something I can do to make it up to you xD  
Also, second semester has finally gotten into full swing, and I have a ridiculous work load. Been in school for a little over a week, have already had 3 tests, 2 major assignments, and I have another test on Friday. I'm having major issues finding the motivation to write. I'm working on it, I'm usually up until 3 or 4 am doing homework, and then I get up at like 5:30 for school, I try to write at lunch, but I'm not getting the usual 2 chapters written per day thing anymore. It took me three days to finish chapter eight, and it's probably one of the shortest so far.  
Anyways, sorry to make y'all wait; I'll work on being more consistant. **

**3 Krissy**


	7. Chapter 7

**Fiction Title:** Second Best

**Chapter Title**: That Stupid Vampire

**Author**: Krissy

I almost turned around and left right then, but I knew it was too late. They already knew I was coming, and if I didn't show up, Alice would get worried, or Esme would be worried. But if Edward was there, I shouldn't go. Jake had probably only agreed to let me come in the first place because I told him that Nobody else was there, just Alice and Esme.

An idea struck me as I parked my truck behind his stupid shiny Volvo. I asked Jacob if I could visit Alice and Esme; I had no idea Edward would be there, so I would just visit with Esme and Alice. If Edward tried to say hello, or talk to me, I would simply ignore him. I wasn't in the mood to talk to him anyway.

I knocked on the door, and it flung open almost immediately. Alice tossed her arms around my neck. "Hi Bella!" she said excitedly, bouncing in place.

"Hi Alice," I said happily. "How are you?" I asked, letting her drag me into the living room. We sat on the couch side by side and she looked at me.

"Bella, you stink again," she laughed, but hugged me again anyway.

"Shut up Alice," I grumbled, staring at the flat screen television. "Where's Esme anyway?" I asked carefully, looking around, not having seen a trace of Edward anywhere.

"Oh, she went hunting this morning. Edward came back and said that he didn't want to stay until Wednesday, _so_ Esme went in his place," Alice explained, flicking through the channels in boredom.

I nodded. "Well then where is he?" I asked, looking over at Alice.

As if I had called him, Edward came down the stairs. "Bella!" he said happily, smiling brightly, his teeth flashing.

I ignored him, turning my attention back to the television, wanting nothing to do with him. The stupid traitor.

"Bella?" He repeated himself, coming around to my side of the couch and sitting on the empty cushion next to me.

Alice rolled her eyes and continued flipping through the channels, so fast that I couldn't even tell what was on before she changed it again. Even so, I pretended to still be watching.

"Isabella, why won't you answer me?" Edward said, his voice growing more and more confused as I continued to ignore him.

I turned to Alice. "Sorry Alice, I wanted to stay a lot longer than this, but there's an annoying bug that just won't leave me alone," I snapped, leaning over and hugging my best friend. "We should hang out away from your house sometime," I said, and got up, walking out of the house.

I was just about to get in my truck when the door flung open for me, scaring the hell out of me. I turned to look, and sure enough Edward was standing right beside me, holding the door of my truck.

"Bella, what did I do?" he asked, looking at me, a sadness in his eyes that made my heart ache.

Instead of letting my own pain show in my eyes, I turned it all into anger. "I don't know Edward, what didn't you do?" I demanded, glaring at him fiercely.

Edward sighed. "Bella, I know I left you," he said softly. "But it was four years ago…"

I glared. "You left me, you didn't come back, and you told me that you didn't love me." I got in the truck and tried to slam the door. But somebody wouldn't allow that to happen.

"Bella, I left you to keep you safe!" Edward defended himself, staring at me intently.

I snorted. "And now you're coming back, to what? Kill me?" I crossed my arms, well aware that I was pouting, but not caring.

"No Bella," Edward snapped, reaching out to touch my face. "How could you think something like that? I could never hurt you," his voice softened, he seemed really preoccupied, and I tried to figure out with what, mildly distracted by the familiar feel of his stone cold fingertips brushing my face.

"Well you already did Edward," I snapped back, jerking away from him and pulling my door shut. "When you left. Jacob picked up the pieces. You said yourself you wanted it to be as if you didn't exist, so leave me alone," I stomped on the gas, my truck roaring down the dirt road.

I could barely see where I was going through the tears that were streaming down my face. I didn't know where the sudden adrenilyn had come from, but the feel of it pulsing through my veins was sending me dangerously close to hyperventillating.

I tried to concentrate on taking deep even breaths, as well as not driving off the road, with only minimal success. It felt like it took forever to pull into my driveway, and I was more than disapointed when there was no lights on in the house. I had been hoping Jake would be home by now.

I was bawling by the time I made it into the house, I went straight into our bedroom, collapsing on our bed. I don't know how long I cried before I realized that right now, all I wanted was Jake. Not Edward or my parents, or even my friends. I wanted to be in Jakes arms and have him comfort me and tell me everything was going to be alright.

I fought to calm myself down enough to pick up the phone and dial his cell phone number. I knew he left it at Emily's when he went running, so my only hope was that Emily would be able to find an available werewolf to pass my message too.

"Hey Bells, what's up babe?" Jake's voice rang through the phone.

Him actually answering his phone caught me off guard, and I lost it, immediately starting to bawl again.

"Bells? Sweetie whats wrong?" Jacob asked, his voice alarmed.

I tried to answer but all that came out was garbled nonsense.

"Isabella, breathe, then speak. What's wrong?" I could hear his voice rising in concern, and I immediately felt bad for worrying him with no reason.

I took a couple deep breaths and tried to speak. "H-" I coughed "Come home?" I pleaded, tears still streaming down my cheeks.

"Sure, I'll be there soon," he said, and hung up immediately.

I hung up the phone greatfully and laid back down on the bed, starting to calm down some, taking shuddery breaths every once and awhile.

Jake was home in a record fifteen minutes, in the bedroom barely a second after I heard the door open. "Bella, what's the matter?" he asked, coming and sitting next to me on the bed.

I sat up and wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him tight, scared that if I tried to talk again, I'd start to crrry again

**Here you go guys 3  
Nothing really to report, just happy Singles awareness day to you all!  
Oh wait, is this not the cutest thing of life?  
My bf knows i love twilight, so he was quoting stuff to me in an email. He said I'm his brand of heroin, a drug he can't get enough of; he's intoxicated by my very presence. It was teh sweetest thing of life!!  
Sorry.. wanted to share taht with somebody ?_**


	8. Chapter 8

**Fiction Title**: Second Best

**Chapter Title**: The Dream

**Author**: Krissy

_"Get off our land bloodsucker!" I heard Jacob's angry voice yelling at Edward. I couldn't see them anywhere, but I could hear them arguing. That bothered me; I didn't want them to argue._

_"No! She's my friend too; you have no right to keep her away from me!" Edward musical voice argued firmly. _

_"She doesn't want to see you bloodsucker," Jacob yelled, getting even angrier by how calm Edward was staying through this._

_"You can't speak for her, if you're so positive that she doesn't want to be near me, fine. Go get her, we'll see what she thinks," Edward was starting to sound smug now._

_"No, she's asleep. She had a hard night after you were harassing her at your house, and I'm not going to wake her up," Jacob argued back, his voice like steel, obviously having resorted to Sam's method of self-control._

_"Harassing her? More like she harassed me. I tried to stay up in my room and leave her be, but she wouldn't leave me alone. I had to kick her out the door," Edward said. He said it so truthfully that even I almost believed it._

_Jacob was silent. My jaw dropped in shock as I heard his footsteps coming towards the bedroom. When the door flung open, he looked at me. "So you _are_ awake," he commented._

_I nodded, unable to speak._

_"You lied to me. You were crying because he rejected you, weren't you?" Jacob accused, his shape shimmering, a grimace on his face. _

_I shook my head. "No… Jake he's lying…" I whispered, praying that he would believe me. _

_Jake snorted. "Yeah right Bella, I bet you're the one who's lying, Edward's telling the truth for once," he said, gritting his teeth against phasing._

_"No Jake! I wouldn't lie to you! You know that," I yelled, wanting him to calm down._

_It all happened so fast… there were ripping snarls, and then a giant wolf snarling viciously. I felt a tremendous amount of pain up my arms and on my face, and when I looked down, the sheets were covered in blood. The walls started to spin, and the next thing I knew, I fainted. _

I woke up, shivering and covered in sweat. Lying beside me, Jacob was sound asleep, his arm still tossed over me carelessly. I looked around, inspecting my arms; shocked to see no blood what so ever. I was shaking pretty badly; the dream scared the hell out of me.

With a sigh I squirmed out from under Jake's arm and when into the back porch. It was still kind of dark out, and I wanted to watch the sunrise. I pulled on my big rain boots and a rain jacket, creeping out the back door silently. I made my way to that spot, sitting on my jacket and watching the sky above me turn colours as the sun rose.

I don't know how long I lay out there, but the sun was totally gone and thick clouds were forming over my head by the time I got up and made my way back into the house. The light in the kitchen was on, and as soon as I opened the back door, I could smell French toast.

"Morning Jake," I said, walking into the kitchen.

"Nope, Quil," Quil said, smiling at me.

I looked at Quil with confusion. "What are you doing in my kitchen and where's Jake?" I asked, sitting at the table.

"Sam came across big trouble on the border. He needed Jake's help. Jake said you were gone out, and he couldn't leave without telling you, he didn't know where you were, so Sam and Jake compromised, and here I am, making you breakfast," Quil said happily, putting French toast on two plates and sitting at the table, placing one in front of me.

"What kind of trouble?" I asked, worry setting in.

"Nothing big, Sam said there was a bloodsucker scent on our side of the border," Quil explained right before stuffing his face.

"What vampire?" I asked, immediately fearing for my vampire friends.

"Definitely not your bloodsuckers," Quil assured me. "Jake was positive they weren't and now I believe him," Quil nodded with satisfaction.

"Really, how was Jake so sure?" I asked, taking a small bite of my French toast.

Quil laughed loudly. "Bells are you kidding? You reek of the Cullen's.

He said you reeked like the Cullen's when you got home, and the scent on our side of the border is nothing like the Cullen's scent. I didn't think he'd be able to tell the difference, but I can smell it too, so we're all good," Quil laughed, finishing off his breakfast in three bites.

I took a lot more time, washing the dishes when I was finished, and then starting to clean up the house. Quil was following me around like a little puppy the entire time, chattering away about so many different things that I eventually just tuned him out.

The entire time Quil was jabbering, all I could think about was how I could fix the problem that was evidently going to intrude on my life, whether I like it or not. I couldn't have both Edward and Jacob, and I couldn't pick between the two. Again I was thrust into the weighing the pro's and cons about both Edward and Jacob.

"Bella, earth to Bella!" Quil said, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"What?" I jumped, snapping to look at him quickly.

"What the heck are you thinking about? You've been staring off into space for fifteen minutes," Quil commented.

"Oh, I was just…" I stopped, trying to decide if I should tell him or not.

"You were what?" he asked, scooting his chair closer to mine.

"I was weighing out the good and bad of Jacob and Edward," I whispered.

"Why?" Quil asked.

"Well… now the Edward's back, I need to decide which one is more important… I can't have both of them, but I can't decide which one I don't want," I mumbled.

Quil looked up, and winced.

"Bells…" I heard Jacob's husky voice behind me. Before I could turn around, the front door slammed.

I dropped my head on the table and groaned. "Warning would have been nice," I muttered in Quil's direction.

"I didn't notice," Quil mumbled, patting my back.

**I can't believe i have like, 45 reviews!  
You guys are my idols, I love you all soooo much  
*showers you all in cookies*  
**

**However, I don't really like this chapter... I don't like the way it turned out *sigh***


	9. Authors Note

**I am, SOOO sorry guys, I'm so swamped at school, it's ridiculous. I've gotten a couple chapters written, but I let a friend borrow my USB key for a project one day, and she hasn't given it back yet. I have no way to get my chapters out here, and I barely have any time to even write the chapters. Not to mention I'm going through a slightly rough patch in life right now, everything bad that can happen to my family and me, is surely happening is order from not so bad to HORRIBLE. **

**Tomorrow is my birthday, and I asked for a new USB key, so I might be able to get a chappy up tomorrow or Friday if they listened to me. I was trying so hard to keep updating and not letting this fall behind like all my others, because I love this fic soooo much... I'm just really really sorry. And I feel pretty bad too. . **

**Anyway, I love you guys, my super amazing reviewers, I'll get the next chapter up for you ASAP. **

**Keep Reading!**

**33**


	10. Chapter 9

**Hey Guys! Guess who found her memory stick!!!!!!!  
That's right! I found it a coupel days ago, then I was battlin with severe writers block, due to completely and totally forgetting where the hell I was going with this story! But I remember now! I finished chapter 11 last night, and I'm going to start posting again!**

**I'm really sorry I didn't post for such a long time, whatever people still pay attention to this, I love you a lot, thanks so much for being patient!**

**Fiction Title**: Second Best

**Chapter Title**: Thunder

**Author**: Krissy

With a groan, I debated going after him. "Quil, what are the chances he phased when he got outside?" I asked, looking at my husband's best friend pleadingly.

"100%" Quil said confidently. "You want me to find him?" he asked me, looking at me, assessing the look on my face.

I nodded weakly, sighing heavily. "Please Quil, I'd owe you for the rest of my life," I said gently.

Quil nodded and took off running, the door swinging shut behind him. I was stunned in my chair, I was scared. What if I lost Jacob? I didn't know what would happen to me if I lost him. I could probably go stay with Charlie until I could afford a house. But that wasn't my big concern. I didn't think I could live through losing Jake, not now.

I looked at my plate; still sitting with most of my breakfast on it. I didn't want to eat it, all I wanted to do was talk to Jacob, make sure he wouldn't leave me. Then something occurred to me. I was being totally selfish, I didn't want Edward to leave me, but I didn't want Jake to leave me either. I couldn't have both of them; I had already established this in the last couple days.

The responsible thing to do at this time would be to let them both go, and just be miserable for the rest of my life. At least if I was miserable, I knew I wasn't being selfish. It was probably better for both of them if neither of them had anything to do with me. I was causing nothing but drama in Jacob's life, and Edward? Well I may as well have ripped his non-beating heart out of his chest and lit it on fire.

Yes, they would definitely both be better off with me around, stirring up their lives. Even knowing this, knowing that I needed to leave, that I _should_ leave, I couldn't make myself do it. I couldn't get up and pack my bags.

A droplet of water fell onto my plate, quickly followed by several more. I shook my head and wiped at my eyes furiously. I couldn't believe that I was crying. _I_ was crying because I had hurt Jacob, _again_. There was no excuse for my behavior, Jake had been nothing but sweet and nice to me since the day Edward ditched me; and I had let him. I thought back to the first time I let him kiss me; the day Alice was visiting. It was then that I had decided that I loved him, loved the feel of his lips against mine, his hot hands pressed against the small of my back, holding me close to him.

As I thought this over, something else came to mind. Did I really love Jake? I always assumed what I felt was love. The way we fit so easily together, even before Edward left. We were always great friends; before we started dating I had loved him, as a brother. It had felt natural when we got together, just like breathing.

But had all of those feelings only been because I was desperate for love after Edward left me? Did I really love Jacob, or had I been jerking him around all this time? It scared me that I didn't know the true answer to that question.

"Bella." Quil's voice sounded low and upset. He was standing in the doorway from the kitchen, staring at me with obvious pain in his eyes. "Bella he's gone," **(was going to end here… hehe but I decided it was WAY to short)** he mumbled, his arms crossed over his bare chest.

I looked at Quil, jumping to my feet. "What do you mean gone?" I demanded. "You can hear his thoughts, where is he?" I said with urgency in my voice.

Quil shook his head. "I know I can, but he wouldn't talk to me. He was running away, and he won't turn back. He kept thinking… 'I have to leave, can't stay here," over and over again. Bella he's gone," Quil squeezed his eyes shut, then glared at me. "It's your fault you know. IF you had have just stayed away from that damn bloodsucker, none of this would have happened," Quil shot angrily, spinning on his heel and storming outside, slamming the door behind him.

I sat in total shock for I don't even know how long. I couldn't think, I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. I didn't even bother trying to go after Quil. He had every right to be angry at me, to hate me, and to never speak to me again. I wouldn't have been shocked if I got thrown right off the reservation. The entire pack would hate me for this; none of them would want anything to do with me.

I didn't know what to do with myself. I wanted Jake to come back more than anything. I wanted my protector, my best friend, my _husband_ to hug me and tell me everything would be alright. Thanks to me, that wouldn't happen. There was no doubt in my mind that I would never see Jake again. It suddenly occurred to me that I couldn't be in this house. Not without Jake I couldn't. I got up and went out to the truck, sticking the key in the ignition and turning it swiftly. Nothing happened. I cursed and tried again, only for more silence. The truck was dead, again. This frustrated me beyond belief, and I snatched the keys out, and slammed the door.

I glanced back at the house once more, and then walked up the driveway. As I was walking, the tears started up again. They were streaming down my cheeks, dripping onto the pavement as I walked. It was barely drizzling when I left, though a huge clap of thunder indicated a storm was coming.

I had no idea how long it would take me to walk from La Push to the place I needed to be. I didn't care though; the time it took me to walk was extra time for me to think and sort out what I was feeling.

I don't know how long I was walking before I knew that I was out of La Push. I was walking along the highway, in the pouring rain. I didn't have a jacket on; stupid me, I'd forgotten to grab it in my rush to get out of the house. All I had cared about was getting out, and getting out fast.

The thunder was getting closer together now, though there was no lightning. Every clap of thunder startled me, even though I knew it was coming. It was strange, but it almost felt like the thunder was keeping my heart beating. My heart seemed to jump to life every time the thunder sounded. It was a strange sensation, and I didn't like it at all.

It was dark by the time I started to see signs of civilization again; and I was cold and exhausted.

It was even darker when I finally made it up the driveway of the one place I wanted to be most in the world. Teeth chattering, shaking all over, with tears still streaming down my cheeks, I knocked on the door in front of me, flying into the arms of the man who answered.


	11. Chapter 10

**Bah! I'm horrible at this!  
To any readers I may or may not have left, I apologize deeply. I always do this. I get side tracked and stop writing.  
It's called procrastination! (:  
I'm so very sorry. I'm on summer break now, and I seem to have a lot of free time, so I think I should be able to get a significant amount of writing done before I go back to school. Besides the fact that for the next two weekends I do believe I'm going to be away from a computer... I'll prolly get something worked out.  
Bah! I feel so horrible about this! Please keep reading and reviewing! Nothing makes me happier!  
Love and Kisses&Amazing cookies to everybody,  
Krissy **

**Fiction Title**: Second Best

**Chapter Title**: The Cullens

**Author**: Krissy

His arms wrapped around me, pulling me inside the house and letting the door swing shut. He sat me on the couch and disappeared, returning with a blanket that he quickly wrapped around my shoulders, sitting right next to me.

"Bella?" his voice was frantic. "Isabella what's wrong sweetheart?" he wrapped his arm over my shoulders awkwardly.

"Gone," I whispered, my shoulders shaking as I started crying again.

"Who's gone? What happened Bells? Where's Jake?" Charlie's voice was anxious and I wondered if he was also remembering that day so long ago when I was carried back into the house, soaking wet, and unresponsive. The day Edward left me.

"Jake's gone," I sobbed, leaning into my father's warm embrace. "I hurt him and he left and now he's never going to come back," I let out a deep shuddering breath, trying to calm myself down.

Charlie was silent. "Bella… I don't think he's gone forever sweetheart. He'll be back probably tomorrow," but his voice wavered, like he was unsure of what he was saying. He didn't convince me for a second.

My silence must have worried him, because he quickly moved on to the next most important thing. "Bella where is your jacket?" he asked softly, his arms still wrapped around me.

"I was in a hurry to leave. I was going to take the truck, but it wouldn't start. I started walking before I even knew what I was doing," I mumbled, becoming aware of how cold I was.

"I'll get you some of my jogging pants and a tshirt to wear," Charlie muttered, going upstairs again, returning within a minute, passing his clothes to me.

"Thanks dad," I said softly, taking it and making my way slowly upstairs. I went into my old room, which was still exactly how I'd left it, and got changed. Charlie's clothes were huge on me, but I didn't care. They were dry, so I curled up in my old bed, shivering as I got under the covers.

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, it was light outside again, and it was sunny. Which made absolutely no sense to me; it was never sunny in Forks. I heard a knocking on my door, which must have been what woke me up, so I got up and opened it. Dad was standing there, holding the cordless phone.

"Alice for you," he said softly and passed it to me. His eyes looked me up and down, assessing me, to see if I was doing any better I think.

I turned around, sitting on my bed. "Alice?" I asked, knowing that I sounded congested and stuffed up.

"Why are you at Charlie's?" she demanded immediately. "Where's Jacob, why aren't you at home, and more importantly, why didn't you come here?" Alice ended, immediately silent waiting for me to answer.

"Jacob's gone," I said, my voice hoarse. "He left and Quil said he wasn't coming back," I started to sob again.

"Why did he leave?" Alice asked, obviously frustrated that she didn't know everything.

"He overheard me tell Quil I couldn't decide who I wanted more," I mumbled.

"Oh?" Alice asked me, and I vaguely wondered if Edward was listening in.

"I can't have both of them," I started to cry again.

"Come over Bella, we can hang out," Alice said softly.  
"Is Edward there?" I asked, not sure if it would be a good thing for him to be around or not.

"Yeah, but I'll make sure he leaves us alone, okay?" Alice promised, her voice sounding sincere.

"I guess… but can you come get me? My truck is at home, it wouldn't start," I mumbled, it not occurring to me that she couldn't go outside because of the sun.

"I'll take the Mercedes, but make sure you're watching for me because I can't get out," Alice said, and hung up the phone before I could respond.

I hung up and went downstairs. Charlie was sitting on the couch watching TV. "Hey dad," I said softly, sitting next to him.

"Hey sweetie, your clothes are dry, they're in the drier," he said, not taking his eyes off the TV.

"Thanks dad," I said softly. "I'm going over to Alice's okay?" I said softly.

"Yeah, okay," Charlie turned to look at me. "Have fun," he said reaching out and patting my shoulder.

I hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I will dad," and went to grab my clothes from the drier.

I got ready quickly, just finishing as Alice pulled up out front. I ran out the door calling good bye to Charlie as the door swung shut behind me. I slid into the front seat of Carlisle's car, pulling on my seatbelt as Alice sped away.

We were both silent while she drove, I didn't know what to say to her, but I was scared that Edward would start bugging me as soon as we got there.

"He said he'd leave us alone Bella, don't worry about it," Alice assured me, reading my expression.

"It's not that I'm mad at him," I said softly. "I don't hate him," I said, feeling bad that I was putting Alice in such a position.

"I know," Alice said quietly, but something seemed to be bothering her.

"Is something wrong then?" I asked, looking at her.

"I know who you're going to pick," she said softly.

"How do you know? The future changes though, right?" I asked anxiously. I didn't like that she could know who I was going to pick when I wasn't sure myself. Then I thought of something; obviously I was sure, because Alice could only see the future if the person involved had made up their mind.

"I see you as a vampire," Alice whispered. "The fact that I see you at all means you picked Edward," she said, turning onto the long winding road to her house.

I was silent. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. "How long…? I asked finally, my voice barely loud enough for me to hear.

"Since before we came back. We were thinking about moving back, and Edward wanted to know if you'd found somebody else, or if you'd take him back," Alice explained. "I looked for him, and since I couldn't see you, I figured that you were still with Jacob. But then it showed that if the option of taking Edward back rose, you'd take him back without a doubt. You must have already been thinking about it though," she said, skidding to a stop behind Edward's shiny silver Volvo.

I was quiet; I didn't know what to do with that. "I…" I got out of the car slowly.

Alice took my hand as we walked to the house, pulling me to the couch. We both sat down and I tried to process what she had just told me.

"Hello Bella," Carlisle said; his tone upbeat. But he didn't slow down, he continued up the stairs to his office I presumed.

"Hi," I said, smiling.

I looked up as Edward strode down the stairs. He didn't even look at me, just waved at Alice and continued on to the kitchen.

I didn't know what had come over me, but I stood up and went into the kitchen behind him, leaning against the doorframe. "Hey," I said softly, my arms crossed over my stomach.


	12. Chapter 11

**Alright, still feeling a tad guilty about not posting as often as possible, and since I'm going away for the weekend, and I can't post this chapter tomorrow like I planned, I figured I'd post it now while I'm thinking of it. If I don't I'll forget about it and won't post it even when I get back. Lol.. I'm that forgetful.  
Love you all! Goodnight!**

**Fiction Title**: Second Best

**Chapter Title**: More Loss.

**Author**: Krissy

"Hello," Edward said coolly, turning around to look at me. He leaned on the counter casually, giving me a charming smile that made my heart melt.

"How have you been?" I asked carefully, staring at my feet, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"That is an unimportant fact," Edward said, his voice velvety smooth as always.

I assessed his perfect face, noting how it hadn't changed at all in the four years it had been since he left. Not that I expected it to change at all.

"You want to tell me the whole story?" he asked suddenly. "It would help you feel better to talk about it I'm sure," he offered, his expression softening a bit, probably because I could feel my eyes welling up again.

I shrugged. "I don't know if talking will really help anything," I said, closing my eyes. "I drove him away, he had every reason to leave, and I don't blame him at all," I said simply, opening my eyes to look up at Edward, into his perfect topaz eyes.

"What did you do?" Edward asked, playing it cool, as though he didn't already know what had happened.

My cheeks flushed brightly, just the thought of telling him that the whole problem was induced because I didn't know which of the two of them I wanted more was totally embarrassing.

"Come on Bella, you can tell me," Edward prompted; I could hear the grin in his voice.

"He heard me talking about you," I mumbled, telling a half truth, really not wanting to get into it.

Edward must have heard it in my voice that I didn't want to talk about it, because he quickly moved on to another question. "I thought you didn't want to talk to me, you asked Alice to make sure I stayed away," he said gently.

I shrugged. "I changed my mind?" I said, not really sure why I had started talking to him.

"Fair enough," Edward said, and turned towards the door in the kitchen. "I'll see you around Bella," he said and disappeared.

I shook my head and went back into the living room with Alice.

"Your brother really frustrates me," I grumbled, sitting down on the couch.

She nodded. "You frustrate him as well," Alice told me softly, reaching over to pat my back.

"How do I frustrate him?" I asked with an edge in my voice.

"He was counting on you going back to him when we returned to Forks. You not going directly back to him, and now not going back to him even though Jake is gone, well that frustrates him to no end," she looked at me cautiously.

"He's frustrated because I won't date him? That's no reason for him to be frustrated with me!" I practically yelled, shooting to my feet.

"Shh, Bella. I know it's not," Alice said, tugging me gently back onto the couch.

"If anything he should be frustrated at himself for leaving me in the first place!" I was trembling all over because I was so angry.

"I know Bella. But he's changed a lot over the last couple of years," Alice told me, patting my arm in a soothing way.

I felt calm wash over me, and looked up to see Jasper standing at the top of the large staircase.

"Hello Bella," he said calmly, coming to sit next to Alice.

"Hi Jasper," I mumbled, knowing that I wanted to be mad, and wanting to get frustrated that I couldn't be mad as long as Jasper was in the room.

"Bella, Edward _has_ changed since he joined the Volturi. He's not the same Edward that you knew anymore," Jasper informed me, his eyes boring into mine almost hypnotically.

"I figured that out," I snapped, uncharacteristically. "He never used to be a selfish jerk," I felt tears spring to my eyes involuntarily.

"Bella, you have to understand where he's coming from though. He loves you more than anything, wants nothing more of his existence than to be with you until you die," Alice explained to me, and I wondered why they were defending their jerk of a brother.

"Then he shouldn't have left! He told me when he left that he didn't love me anymore! He said that it would be just like he had never existed, and that I should find somebody better suited for me than him!" I shouted back. I was angry again, and though I could feel Jasper influencing my emotions, trying to calm me down, I was fighting against it.

"He realized he made a mistake though, he wants you back," Jasper told me, patting my shoulder.

I sprang to my feet for the second time, so angry that I was seeing red. "He shouldn't expect my life to stop just because he came back and wants me! I was perfectly happy with Jake until you guys showed up and started meddling!" _A lie_.

I stormed out the front door, to head to my truck before I realized that it wasn't here. I groaned as I realized I would have to walk home from here, but took great comfort in the fact that no Cullen would even attempt to follow me, because the sun was still shining brightly.

While I was walking away, sudden realization hit me. _Now_, I had lost my husband, my Quileute family, my first love, and my Vampire family. The only person I had left, was Charlie.

It had only been two weeks since I first heard the Cullen's voice in the supermarket, but already, I was left dead and alone, with nobody left to hold me except my father, and no friends. This thought brought on a fresh round of tears, leaving me crying the whole way home.

As I walked along the side of the highway, I was scarcely aware of my surroundings. So I didn't notice as a black Mercedes pulled up beside me, slowing down to the point of almost stopping. The heavily tinted window rolled down, and I turned to yell at Alice.

I didn't even have time to scream before the car's driver had me inside the car and was speeding off. The last thing I remembered was looking into the mysterious vampires crimson red eyes.


	13. Chapter 12

**Alright, I'm in no way happy with this chapter at all, I wrote it, moved on to the next chapter, didn't like it. I went back, tried to fix this chapter, and failed. Honestly, I moved too fast through this part; but when I tried to drag it out, it sucked more. Sooooo y'all are jost gonna have to deal. Excuse me while I go beat my head against something in frustration, okay? **

**Krissy**

When I came around, I couldn't move my arms or legs. Everything was black as pitch, giving the impression that I had gone blind. I didn't understand what was going on, and when I opened my mouth to speak, I realized that there was something tied around my mouth. I thought I was completely alone, until I felt an unreasonably cold hand on my cheek.

"Sweet Bella, you're awake," a strangely familiar, yet very unfamiliar voice said to me, her voice seemingly coming from nowhere. I couldn't see a damn thing, which made me feel very unsafe, my heart hammering in my chest.

"You've kept me waiting a long time, you know," she said, still stroking my cheek.

I was so confused that I couldn't speak. I hadn't had any contact with the vampire world in so long, not since before Edward had left me. A lump formed in my throat as I thought of that time, when I had almost died in Phoenix. I racked my brain, trying to think of anybody who would have a vengeance on me after all this time, and I was coming up with nothing.

"Who are you?" I rasped, realizing how parched I was. I wouldn't have thought the person holding me hostage would be able to hear me, if I hadn't known it was a vampire, who could very well hear me even if I'd only mouthed the words.

"Who am I? I'm shocked Bella… you don't remember me? How insulting," the mysterious vampire said in an almost mocking voice.

"Who are you," I repeated, trying to put more force in my voice. "Please." My voice faltered at the end of 'please' and I heard the delighted catlike chuckle of the vampire that was holding me hostage.

"Bella, I am the reason your hair stands on end when Jacob and the rest say they caught a scent on their route. The very reason you still have nightmares of being tortured to death, the reason you wish you were immortal so you had a sporting chance against me," My captor was obviously having way to much fun with her role and kidnapper. This thought had me sneering in the direction of her musical voice.

"It's a shame, I thought you were smarter than that… well maybe I'm being conceited… surely Bella, if you think hard enough, you'll figure out who I am."

It all came rushing back to me at once. One of the nights that I'd been trying to repress since Edward left me, and I no longer felt safe from her. Victoria. She'd finally gotten to me, like she swore she would. Like Laurent told me that she would, that one day back in the clearing. How could I be so stupid? I had thought that she had given up, it had taken so long. She must have just been waiting, for everybody I cared about to leave me, so that nobody would come looking when I went missing.

I realized all this in about half a second, and was hyperventilating in shorter time that that. I was seeing dark spots that were even darker than the nothingness I could see in the first place.

I heard her catlike chuckle over my own gasping breaths, as she realized that I came to the right conclusion.

"I knew you were smart enough to figure this out on your own Isabella," she said in a tone that could only be described as seductive. "You shouldn't have let your disgusting mongrel friends kill Laurent Bella. You should have let him kill you. That's right, I know about that. I was hiding, watching, not far from where you were that very day in the clearing.

He was going to kill you himself, I could see that. I had been about to jump in and interfere when your wolves showed up. Lucky for me, they were all so concentrated and getting Laurent that they didn't even notice me running away to safety."

I could barely hear her gloating over my own attempts to keep breathing, but as far as I could tell, she either didn't know that; or didn't care. The latter was probably truer.

Suddenly she was quiet, and I didn't know if she was still there or not. I wanted desperately to be able to see what was going on, the blindness was making me that much more anxious.

"Isabella, I had to wait for you for a long time… I had a whole creative plan set out for you… you'd be begging for death by the time I was halfway done. But you see, I really am very thirsty… and tired of waiting for you. I must be feeling kind today… you should thank the heavens for that little human. You won't feel any pain this way…"

I could feel her cold breath on my neck now, and my own breathing sped up once more. She was so close now, that I could see the whites of her eyes, and her deep onyx irises. They were the same colour as her pupils.

I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for her to kill me, struggling to slow my breathing along with my heart rate.

Her teeth only barely brushed the skin on my neck when suddenly the lighting in the room changed. I still couldn't see anything, but it was different now. The only sound I could hear was vicious sounding snarls that made me cringe, and Victoria snap up into a standing position.


	14. Chapter 14

**Alright guys, this is the last chapter. While I was writing, it just kind of ended. I like where it went, this is probably one of my favorite chapters of them all; though I doubt anybody will feel the same.  
****Thanks for reading and reviewing guys! You made me happy on the inside! **

There was lots of noise in the next little while. It was mostly just growling but there was a sound that was almost like metal being shredded or something as well. I must have been drifting in and out of consciousness, because though my eyes were adjusting to the light, everything was cloudy.

The air around me was getting way to hot, making it hard to breathe and making my eyes sting. I forced myself to blink; only my eyes must not have opened for awhile because the next thing I knew, I was lying in my bed in La Push.

I sat up quickly, looking around in confusion. My eyes circled around the whole room once before I saw it. I looked into the deep chocolate eyes of my savior, who had now saved my life in a total of three times. I could see the pain in his expression as he watched me, stared back into my eyes, though he didn't speak a word to me.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered, throwing the covers off and walking over to him. "Really I am… I shouldn't have… even if you weren't there… I should have known better than too…" I couldn't seem to finish my sentence. Couldn't get the right words out, didn't even know what the right words were.

His husky voice was cold as ice when he spoke back. "Yeah, you shouldn't have… but you did." He told me harshly, turning his gaze away from my eyes, staring at my feet now.

"I'm so sorry Jake, you've been nothing but good to me since that day I showed up on your doorstep," I blinked fiercely against the tears forming in my eyes.

"Bella, I don't know if I can keep doing this… watching you pine over the loss of your bloodsuckers," he wouldn't look at me anymore; he looked like he was trying to burn a hole in the floor with his eyes.

My heart squeezed with the pain of the dismissal I could feel coming. "Jake…" I said in a pathetic voice. "Jake you put me back together when he left broken pieces, please don't…" I was pleading now, would have been on my knees begging if my legs hadn't been frozen stiff.

"I may have put you back together Bells, but I can't hold you together all by myself. You aren't trying to help me anymore. You're falling apart more everyday and I can't bear to watch it."

"Jacob… I need you… You know me better than anybody else does, better than Charlie, better than Renee, hell, you know me better than Edward," I resisted the urge to flinch when I said his name.

"That could change. Bella I can't stay with you and watch you in that amount of pain. He's like a drug to you Bells. You need him in your life to survive, I can see that now."

"Don't you know drugs are bad Jake?" I said; my meager attempt at a joke. It didn't work though, tears streaming down my cheeks and my voice cracking left and right. "You're better for me; you're like the sunshine…"

"Bella…" was all he could say before he stood up and wrapped his huge arms around me, holding me tight to his chest.

There I stayed, crying against his chest. I knew what was coming. Jacob's clean break; he was going to leave me too, just like Edward did. Leave me all alone to try and work through this separation too. The hole ripped open in my chest, threatening to tear me apart.

"Can't I have both of you?" I managed to say in between sobs.

"Isabella you can't have both of us. Neither of us can accept being just friends with you. I'm not going to try and pressure you to pick me; I'm just telling you how it is. I won't hold anything against you if you don't pick me."

I pulled my head away from his chest and looked into his eyes. I didn't know how I was supposed to pick between Edward and Jacob. Edward who left me, or my Jacob. Edward had left to try and protect me from the danger he believed he was putting me in; Jacob had never left in the first place.

Jacob could see the indecision in my eyes. "Right, I'll leave…" he said gently. My arms tightened around him and I saw his concern as panic crossed my face. "Not far Bella. Just going to Sam's… let you think about it… I love you." His lips brushed my hair, and then the next thing I knew he was gone.

I had to pick between Edward and Jacob. My first love and my soul mate. I collapsed back against the bed and stared at the ceiling through blurred eyes. I didn't want to make this decision; I wanted them both.

Eventually I must have fallen asleep, but it wasn't peaceful. I was having nightmares again, dreaming of the same russet wolf I'd seen the first night on the beach with Jacob. I was dreaming of my pale skinned vampires, protecting me time and time again.

I saw myself along with them, pale, topaz eyes, beautiful. There wasn't the same draw to this future that I had before Edward left me. That long ago it seemed like the only option; to become a vampire and live with Edward forever. But there was a new option now, to stay with Jacob and live with my loveable giant wolf forever. This one had a stronger pull, like that was what I needed.

I sat up suddenly in shock. My dreams had made it clear. At one point there was no way I could live without Edward and the rest of the Cullen's. But when he left me, left me bleeding; Jacob fixed me back up. He waited patiently for me to be able to love him, and then we lived happily ever after. That had left its mark on me, and now I realized, I needed Jacob more than I needed anything else in the world. There was no way I could live without my personal sunshine.

I ran into the kitchen as fast as I could without breaking any bones and picked up the phone dialing Jacob's cell.

"Jake" I whispered when he answered. "You are my life, my world, the entirety of my existence, my personal sunshine."

"Bells… are you sure?" Jake asked, sounding hesitant. "It's only been like, 2 hours…"

"I need you Jacob. There's no way I can live without you, please come home now?" I pleaded. I needed his strong arms around me again.

"I'll be home as soon as possible…" he said and hung up without waiting for me to say anything.

I sat in a kitchen chair and smiled at the wall, waiting for him to come home. I knew now that I hadn't settled for second best in any way, shape, or form. Jacob was my number one, the best thing that I could have asked for, and I was lucky to get to keep him.

Jacob flew through the door in record time, sweeping me up in his arms and kissing me passionately on the lips. I kissed him back, my arms tight around his neck. He pulled back suddenly to look at me, curiosity in his eyes. "Are you positive that this is what you want Bella? That _I'm_ what you want?"

I grinned at him and pecked him on the lips once. "So far past positive there isn't even a word for it. You are mine Jacob Black… Always and Forever."


End file.
